Guest Post by Stilton Jarlsberg
While there’s plenty of reason to be skeptical that ocean levels are rising, there’s no question that it’s time to don our hip-waders in response to the multinational climate agreement reached in Paris on Saturday.
“I believe this moment can be a turning point for the world,” Mr. Obama said as a choir of angels sang. “It’s the best chance to save the one planet we’ve got.”
Which would be a lot more impressive if the agreement had any details about how to accomplish a reduction in greenhouse gas emissions, was binding in any way, had any metrics for checking to see if countries are keeping their promises, or was rooted in anything even marginally like science or reality.
Not that the loosey-goosey nature of the agreement will keep Obama from using it as a cudgel against American industries and energy companies, both of which have been known to produce near-toxic levels of employment, wealth, and national security.
Still, the president is no hypocrite and he’s doing his best, on a personal level, to get rid of noxious fossil fuels. For instance, just a few days from now he’ll destroy thousands of gallons of Earth-killing petroleum products by burning them in the engines of Air Force One as he jets off to Hawaii for another Christmas (oops!) holiday vacation. And to get rid of additional fuel (good riddance!) Michelle Obama will probably again make the huge sacrifice of taking her own jet to Oahu.
But despite these efforts, not everyone is happy. Alleged presidential candidate Bernie Sanders says that the Paris agreement will not reduce global warming enough for humanity to survive, which is why he’s now campaigning on a pledge to cut our nation’s carbon emissions by 80% through a mixture of sky-high taxes, penalties for industries, the end of all energy exploration and development on public lands, and “a lot of sitting around very quietly in cold, dark houses.”
Hoping, no doubt, for an occasional bowl of warm porridge.
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