By D.C. Sunsets
Where have I been? Tilting at windmills.
I’ve simply realized that no matter how much I refine my grasp of today’s collective insanity (its roots, its enablers, the underlying engine that powers it, and where it leads),
1. No one gives a shit.
2. Neither I nor anyone else can change it.
3. Without details (timing, specifics) neither I nor anyone else has, preparing for what’s coming is for all practical purposes impossible. Every preparation A produces massive costs Anti-A today, and the accumulation of those costs is beginning to crush me.
I’m arrogant enough to believe that I see something that almost no one else sees. I’m also wise enough to know that it just doesn’t matter. No bozo buttons are awarded for being first to fully elucidate a process, and 21 years of being wrong on the timing has taught me that there are actually no benefits even to myself. So far, my insights on this crap have only cost me money, heartache and self-recrimination.
So I try to stop wasting my time typing comments. I’m better off putting in a load of laundry, mowing the grass or reloading some more cartridges.
At this moment, I’m running a video-capture of the VHS recording of my wedding in the background of this web browser. It reminds me in a constant bitch-slap of how much time has passed, how youth drains away no matter how hard one tries to slow it, how nothing I do really affects more than that moment of time, and how I’ve lived my life in a fog of ignorance so profound that it’s embarrassing to even contemplate.
I’m an ant, riding on a leaf, floating down a large river. I can’t change the course of the river, I’m surrounded by other ants who have no notion of the river itself, and who grasp not the meaning of the sound of a waterfall ahead. Or if they do, then ours is a dialog that only goes in circles. I’ve been spinning in those circles since 1993. I’m dizzy, so please stop the ride, I want to get off.
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